How does non-sexual social nudity and attraction work?

Ever wonder about how nudists navigate attraction when being completely naked around one another? Do those lines seem a little blurry to you? Perhaps you’re interested in getting involved in more social nudity but you’re not sure what to do if you find yourself attracted to others? Is attraction considered inappropriate in the community? All these questions may have you feeling a little overwhelmed and outright confused and curious. Well today I am here to clear up some of that confusion and shed light on what can seem confusing as an outsider looking in.

As someone who speaks rather publicly and candidly about my social nudity and, more specifically, a nudist lifestyle, I get an array of questions spanning various matters, and this is indeed an ‘issue’ that arises for many people who may be curious about how nudity and attraction can coexist without the lines becoming blurred.

Having been active in the nudist lifestyle for over 5 years now and, furthermore, as someone who has taught mixed naked yoga classes for over 2 years and frequently holds space for social nude gatherings, this is a hot topic and one that probably needs a little more clarification and insight for those of you who are merely curious or may be looking to try out nudism but are a little confused as to how you might navigate such a situation.

In my time in this field and lifestyle, many express their keen interest to partake in non-sexual social nudity, but are concerned that they may be attracted to others in the group. Non-sexual nudity seems to be a relatively new concept for many people I come across, and for some reason, when people hear it, they assume that ‘non-sexual’ would imply that you are not allowed to be attracted to others in the space, or that you might be frowned upon or judged for finding yourself attracted to someone in the space…maybe you’re even judging yourself already at the thought of finding yourself in this predicament?

WELL, TO CLARIFY WITH ABSOLUTE RESOLUTION…OF COURSE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE ATTRACTED TO OTHERS WHEN PARTAKING IN NON-SEXUAL SOCIAL NUDITY!

Attraction is natural and normal! It is human nature after all…this doesn’t just switch off because we see the words ‘non-sexual’…nor should this be expected of you! What is expected is that you approach the matter with utmost respect, integrity and dignity.

NUDITY IS NEVER A GREEN LIGHT FOR OBJECTIFICATION, NOR DOES IT IMPLY CONSENT.

Nor is it an invitation for you to project your energy in a way that would make others feel uncomfortable! But to deny attraction would be defying human instinct.

So, in saying all of this, attraction is not the problem. The problem seems to lie, firstly, in the way in which we perceive attraction and how society’s systemic and overt sexualisation of nudity seems to imply that nudity demands objectification…and, secondly, the way in which we approach the matter and act upon it.

ATTRACTION AND SEXUALISATION ARE NOT THE SAME THING

What many in society have confused is thinking that attraction would imply sexualisation…BUT! Attraction is not necessarily a precursor for sexualisation or sex, for that matter. Attraction is, however, human nature and the way in which we act upon it is a CHOICE.

So, there is no point in trying to deny or avoid attraction…even in a non-sexual nude setting.

You can be attracted to someone without necessarily sexualising them. It is possible to admire someone’s beauty or energy without wanting to have sex with them. Even if you are having sexual thoughts about someone (because, yes, sometimes we have these thoughts and this can be natural too), you don’t necessarily need to impulsively project these thoughts as if uncontrollable.

I’m sure there has been a time in your life when you have found yourself drawn to someone’s energy or in admiration of one’s beauty without thinking about having sex with them. Just as I’m sure you’ve also caught yourself having sexual thoughts about someone without having to urgently and uncontrollably act upon it….social cues, right? Well, let me tell you right now…nudity does not, and should not, change these social cues, nor should it make you do anything uncharacteristic that you wouldn’t otherwise do if you were in a clothed setting.

THE SAME MORALS, VALUES, ETHICS, CODES OF CONDUCT, RESPECT AND CONSENT APPLY TO NON-SEXUAL SOCIAL NUDITY.

I, too, for example, have found myself attracted to both men and women when in a social non-sexual nude scenario. I don’t judge myself for this because I know it is normal and natural to be attracted to others…whether we are clothed or nude! I have also been attracted to people (physically and energetically) without having sexual thoughts about them.

There is already so much shame around nudity. There is no need to attach it to attraction too…another primal aspect of being human.

So this is not to say that attraction cannot be acknowledged and expressed…so long as it feels welcome and is done so in a healthy and respectful manner. For example, in my time as a ‘nudist’ and as a naked yoga instructor, I have had many individuals (men and women) acknowledge their physical attraction toward me. The difference being that it was conveyed in a respectful manner, a mere acknowledgement of their admiration for my beauty. I was flattered and appreciative of this expression. If anything, I have felt nothing other than respected and honoured standing stark naked at the front of my naked yoga classes.

On the other hand, outside of my classes and in day-to-day clothed life, there have been countless times where I have been made to feel very uncomfortable due to someone’s supposed attraction toward me. Merely because they didn’t know how to go about it in a more respectful manner and proceeded to sexualise and objectify me with unsolicited remarks and creepy behaviour.

IN MY EXPERIENCE, MAKING CRUDE AND UNSOLICITED REMARKS IS NEVER VIEWED AS SEXY OR APPEALING, NOR DOES IT MAKE ME WANT TO ENGAGE WITH THAT PERSON/S…IF ANYTHING, IT’S AN ABSOLUTE TURNOFF AND I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL.

So, it really is in the way in which you conduct yourself and approach the matter. This makes all the difference. It is not about whether or not you’re allowed to be attracted to others in a non-sexual social nude setting. As I’ve reiterated and have hopefully made clear by now…attraction is natural, normal and even expected.

It comes down to exercising discernment in ALL situations, especially when there is social nudity involved. It is wise to understand the vulnerability that is still latent around nudity for many. It may be someone’s first experience with social nudity….or somebody with some form of trauma around sexual abuse may be present, for example,….you just never know. So it is wise to exercise the utmost respect, compassion and sensitivity.

RESPECT BOUNDARIES, ENGAGE IN RESPECTFUL CONVERSATION AND GAGE THE SITUATION.

NUDITY DOES NOT IMPLY AUTOMATIC ATTRACTION

Just like nudity does not imply sex, it also does not automatically imply attraction either. You can most definitely be naked with other people and not feel an attraction toward any of them. On the other hand, if you do happen to find yourself attracted to someone, you can acknowledge and express your attraction without making someone feel objectified and/or sexualised.

I feel that, because of many of our personal experiences with feeling objectified and even, perhaps, objectifying others, we believe that this is the way in which attraction is generally experienced and expressed…and so social nudity can seem a little daunting when looking at it from this aspect if we are merely wanting to enjoy the freedom of our own nudity and body away from society’s endless sexual gaze.

What a lot of people tend to get confused is thinking that attraction implies that you’re going to act upon it uncontrollably…which, hopefully, is not the case! Just as you would, hopefully again, broach the topic with respect and tenderness in a clothed scenario, same applies to a social nude setting.

NUDITY BY NO MEANS IMPLIES THAT SOMEBODY IS ‘ASKING FOR IT’. LET’S GET THAT FUCKING STRAIGHT! NUDITY IS NOT CONSENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel that much of this confusion is rooted in peoples’ difficulty in discerning between nudity and sex. I mean, with pornography, Hollywood and mainstream media using nudity and sex interchangeably, we’ve had it drilled into us to associate one with the other. You’ve heard it before, ‘sex sells’. Corporations and industry exploit our most natural, powerful and primal instincts. BUT! Some of us are waking up to the games, rewiring our mindset and shifting our perception where we are liberated and empowered via our nudity, rather than shamed and tamed.

My mixed naked yoga classes are a prime example that you can practice non-sexual nudity and have it empower and liberate you…and they are a great success because there is a mutual understanding that it is not a sexually-charged event so as to create boundaries and safety.

CONTEXT IS KEY

There is a time and place for everything, so understand the intention with which a space has been created. If you’re going to an event that involves non-sexual nudity…go there with the intention to respect that and act within the boundaries given.

If you’re curious to explore social nudity, would like to rediscover your own nudity and body away from a sexual gaze and want to experience the liberation and empowerment that comes along with it, I would highly recommend attending a reputable nudist/naturist club, event or nude beach. Explore these ranges of emotions and curiosity for yourself…and always remember to be respectful and act within the boundaries given for the space that has been created. Gauge the intention of the event, space and setting.

So, just like nudity, attraction, too, is human nature. Meaning, yes, it is just as natural. It is to be expected. Most importantly, it comes down to how you conduct yourself, should you find yourself in this situation. Clothed or naked, consent and respect is always a MUST! Act with sensitivity and respect your fellow nudists.

With love,

The Nude Blogger

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